(This is my sister Romi's letter to her oldest daughter, Mary Virginia, on the occasion of her 15th birthday. True story. - Fr. Paul)
Mary Virginia's Baby Story
Where shall your Daddy and I begin? As you well know, your Momma named you after the Blessed Mother in my twenty’s when I became a Roman Catholic. This, of course, was years before I met your handsome Father. When I was dating your Father and I was beginning to ask God for confirmation if he was indeed “The One,” he mentioned that his mother was named “Mary Virginia.” Hmmmm … Isn’t God funny? I always knew in my heart that my first child would be a little girl named “Mary Virginia.”
After we married and after we were told we had a fertility problem, we went through a very difficulty time where our faith was tested. We were challenged by well-meaning people about “invitro fertilization” and “why didn’t we try it, etc …”; however, we stuck by our Catholic beliefs and trusted that God would take care of us in some way. I even imagined a little Chinese “Mary Virginia” but for some reason I couldn’t quite place her face.
My Daddy, your P.D., died in September 1995 after a long painful battle with cancer. He suffered a great deal for his family and offered all of it up for us. I asked him if he would speak with the “fertility” angel in heaven and see if he could do anything for your Daddy and me. He said he didn’t know how Heaven worked but that he would see what he could do.
Finally, in February 1996, we made the decision to adopt an Indian “Mother Theresa” baby. Long story short - The day after we mailed the application off, we discovered we were pregnant. Oh and have I mentioned that same day was my Daddy, your P.D.’s, birthday! Isn’t God Great?
As you are aware, my pregnancy was not an easy one. I firmly believe that I had to suffer for you and your sisters. I don’t know why. But some gifts come at a cost. I was not surprised, however, at the sonogram at 19 weeks that I was carrying a girl. Shocker! I knew you before you were born.
As you are also aware, I developed high blood pressure (pre-eclampsia) and you and I almost died on the operating table during my emergency c-section. I will spare you the details but it was really close there for a while. Again, God is Great and very, very Good.
You and I both went through a difficult time for a while afterwards. I didn’t even get to meet you for the first couple of days because we were both so sick. Finally, a nurse in the middle of the night rolled me down the hall after saying it was time to meet my daughter! How blessed your Daddy and I were to be surrounded by loving family during this difficult time. Meme and Aunt Gi-Gi were there the first night and then everyone else arrived. We were able to celebrate your Daddy’s birthday in the hospital the day after your birthday!
It is also very nice having a priest in the family since Uncle Father Paul was able to give last rites twice to me, once before you were born and again after. Not to mention that you were baptized on your birthday! At first the Doctors told us you had heart problems, then intestinal problems, then breathing problems … Would the Hell ever stop? Eventually though, after 3 ½ weeks, we were able to bring you home on a heart monitor.
How I remember that first night! First, we called the nurses at Northside Hospital because you wouldn’t stop crying (how embarrassing), then your heart monitor went off around 4:30 am and your Daddy jumped up in his underwear to run downstairs to confront the burglar he thought was breaking in the house. Ah, good times! Don’t worry – I won’t bring up your constipation problems! Love those glycerin suppositories!
There was your first bath where you pooped in the tub. Or how our cat Soccer ate through your heart monitor during an ice storm and the hospital sent a courier in the storm with a new one. Baby Kate, blanket, Casa the Barbie, memories … Again good times!
How proud your Daddy and I are of what a lovely young woman you are becoming! You have a confidence that I wish I had at that age. Always know that no matter what, we love you unconditionally. We may get angry with you or not approve of a decision you make but we will always love and support you. There is nothing you cannot tell us; however, know that your Aunt Gigi, Aunt Sharon, Uncle Father Paul or even Meme and Grandma are available to help soften the blow if necessary.
I remember one of the nurses that took care of you when you were born saying not to worry about “premie” babies. They are tough! She is exactly right. What with our moves and changing schools so many times, you hold your head up and just charge straight in. You are kind and funny and giving (if you would just not fight with your sisters so much). By dancing with that shy boy at the Homecoming Dance this past weekend, you showed how confident you are in yourself and how aware you are that there are other people who need a little kindness. It is not hard to be nice, is it?
I often think about P.D.’s promise to talk to the “fertility” angel in heaven and I catch myself getting sad that you didn’t get to meet P.D. – especially when playing volleyball which he loved to watch me play! But then I remind myself there were too many God-incidences that confirmed my Daddy’s intervention on our behalf. Let’s not forget you and P.D. both have that red birthmark on the back of your necks. Meme and I are convinced it was a kiss from your P.D. to you and to us to let us know that he has not missed a thing and that you met him in Heaven before you came down to us.
As we close this letter, we are amazed that it has been 15 years ago that you were given to us! And we look forward to all of the years ahead. Keep making good prayerful decisions. We know that God has got quite a blessed life planned for you!
We love you!
Momma and Daddy
October 18, 2011